"ImmoralMinority" (araimondo)
11/03/2018 at 09:30 • Filed to: None
1
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"ImmoralMinority" (araimondo)
11/03/2018 at 09:30 • Filed to: None | 1
| 12 |
Stress control is difficult for me.
I realize that , while I have done well with diet and exercise overa , I am not managing the stress part of my life very well lately.
I felt like I was doing well after the heart attack, but as I have been feeling stronger, I find myself falling back into old patterns. This is bad. A small example: I had a bad day yesterday. Took the Cressida for a short drive and it died in the road witb what appears to be a fuel delivery problem. This threw my whole schedule off.
I got back to my house, and managed to lock my Sunchaser keys in the trunk (no spare). This is a minor inconvenience in the grand scheme of things. It ultimately cost me $80 and five minutes with a locksmith. I have wasted $80 on dumber things than that.
But my reaction was entirely out of proportion. I allowed myself to get furious and entirely worked up over something totally stupid. I woke up this morning still cranky, and am already allowing minor annoyances to get under my skin.
I do think rage is a drug in a way, and some of us get off on the adrenaline of that fury as it builds and boils over. I am one of those, and it is the worst thing about me. I need to figure out how to not do this to myself any more. It can actually kill me.
Toby hates it. He gets very anxious if he sees me upset. Sorry for skipping the Sunchaser and dogs, but this is on my mind at the moment.
Duck Duck Grey Duck FTMFW!
> ImmoralMinority
11/03/2018 at 09:50 |
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I am sorry you have so much stress. You should watch the bloopers from the end of Liar, Liar. I woul d rewind it over and over. I am also 32 so when that came out I was, (Googles how old movie was) 12. That's probably why I think it's so funny. Just hold all the animals, that should help.
f86sabre
> ImmoralMinority
11/03/2018 at 10:09 |
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First, it’s good that you akwnowledge this fact and are thinking about it. Self awareness is a great start.
I’m going to paint a picture from what I have seen about you from here. You can tell me if I’m full of crap. I’m an engineer and not a psychologist, so you get what you get. Here goes. You get a lot of joy out of the main things in your life. Your family, work and the cars. You pour effort into those by the bucket load. You hold very high standards in those areas as well. So much so that some areas become a bit obsessive. A plan gets set, a target or desired outcome, and if it doesn’t happen the way it was intended that it hurts at a pretty deep level. Almost physical pain. When that pain hits stress spikes because the issue MUST be corrected. Does that sound about right? If not, then it is just me, because I feel that way a lot.
For me I have to push myself into a different mental space. Forceabily disengage the cogs that are turning on the issue. I had a shit day Wednesday. My wife had a doctors appointment in the morning in prep for her surgery and I had to run the kids to school. Way out of the norm. Then I ran to work and got to my desk 60 seconds before an important call with a director who has an open position I’m interested in. After that I had a meeting with my boss’ boss that went so poorly that I told him in front of others that he was being insulting and after that we all had a 3 hour talent planning meeting. I was wiped out and pissed by the time I went home. So, on the way home I was listening to a podcast and didn’t hear a word. I knew my mind was elsewhere. I forcibly made myself shift gears. I put on AC/DC and opened the windows. I had to stop and get dinner and I decide I wanted a McDonalds McMuffin. I pull in, order and sit at the window for like 10 minutes. They finally come up and say they don’t have any english muffins. Instead of exploding I had managed to get myself to a very calm state and just asked that they put it on a bun.
So, long story short, I think focused awareness of one’s mental state is key. Dedicate some brain cycles to knowing when the levels are rising and actively work to correct them either through calming exercises or disengaging from the situation. All else fails then win dows down and loud music.
Take care of yourself. Us older Oppos are a rare breed.
PatBateman
> ImmoralMinority
11/03/2018 at 10:44 |
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Either lift more weights or shoot more guns (on the range, of course).
That’s all I got.
Wait, did I mention sex? Because you could... never mind. Weights or guns.
OmerCarrothers333
> ImmoralMinority
11/03/2018 at 10:56 |
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I go through the same shit. I had to get a therapist to talk to, because the stress, the anger, the anxiety, it was going to kill me.
DipodomysDeserti
> ImmoralMinority
11/03/2018 at 11:24 |
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I feel you. I used to feed off stress and anger. It felt good to see red. Thankfully I had a place to go when I was younger, so I could release that agression in a manner that wouldn’t land me in jail. Watching my daughters come into the world definitely heloed dissipate most of that aggression. For the rest I try to find constructive ways to calm my mind. Meditation, whether through hiking, motorcycles, reading or music helps a lot.
Captain of the Enterprise
> ImmoralMinority
11/03/2018 at 11:54 |
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Hey, health behavior change is incredibly hard. I’ve taken several college classes on it. Try not to be hard on yourself and you can always try again. Change also happens over time. Start with a small change and grow more over time.
nermal
> ImmoralMinority
11/03/2018 at 12:08 |
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I’ve found the key to managing rampant rage-aholism is to have a healthy outlet for it, and release it BEFORE it blows up and becomes a bigger issue.
The best outlets don’t even have to be hyper-aggressive either. Focus on getting outdoors, spend time in your local parks. From just walking around to spending a night camping, it’s great to relieve pressure.
Sometimes you just need a physical outlet though - Like going to the gym, riding a bicycle, chopping wood, etc.
Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
> ImmoralMinority
11/03/2018 at 12:22 |
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I suggest taking a 2 pronged approach...
1. talk to somebody about it.
2. expel the negative energy through physical exertion... like running, boxing or some other physical activity that feels satisfying in terms of getting rid of the rage-energy.
Tristan
> ImmoralMinority
11/03/2018 at 13:00 |
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I keep telling myself I need to make it to June. In June I graduate and I can be done with school forever (at friggin’ 35... really wish I would have finished this 10 years ago). But at the same time, I’ve always had a terrible tendency to get myself worked up into a frenzy. I only lash out at inanimate objects, so only people who have worked on cars/work stuff with me long-term have seen it, but I used to be known as a total hot head. I’ve calmed down, but it’s still bad. Stupid shit like when I’m working on the new bathroom and I can’t find my pencil... it absolutely sends me over the edge. On top of that, guys like me (6'7", 240 lbs) tend to die young from heart problems. I’ve been considering seeing a therapist... Overall I’m a positive and happy person and I’ve very grateful for the life I have, I just think I’m currently taking on too much. My current quest is finding a fun commuter car to make the hour-long commute to and from work into a highlight of my day instead of something that pisses me off more.
You’re on the right track, I think... Self awareness is the biggest hurdle.
BaconSandwich is tasty.
> ImmoralMinority
11/03/2018 at 19:56 |
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You aren’t alone on this!
Something that I have been slowly learning is that it is possible to adjust our reactions to our thoughts.
If it wasn’t, everyone would get the exact same emotional response to the same input - and that definitely isn’t the case, given that two people can come out of the same movie - one balling their eyes out, and the other bored stiff.
Thoughts themselves don’t necessarily determine feelings - it’s more our response to those thoughts. We have to learn to separate ourselves from our thoughts in order to determine our reactions. It’s a struggle, and it takes practice. When we hit our default (which is often anger), it becomes our automatic response. But instead, we have to learn to pause, and think about what our reaction should be. It’s definitely not easy!
TheRealBicycleBuck
> ImmoralMinority
11/03/2018 at 21:14 |
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Try martial arts. You can get some exercise while learning some self control and how to eliminate your frustrations in a positive manner. It worked for me.
Tripper
> ImmoralMinority
11/05/2018 at 08:54 |
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I have to constantly add/change things to manage stress. First and foremost I go to therapy. Some days it really helps, other days I wonder why I’m spending the money every week. Overall I feel that it has helped.
Other than that I add/change/go back to different activities /workouts. I always run, but I also mix in yoga, rock climbing, mountain biking, shooting, snowboarding, and the absolute best one...surfing.
I also recently added meditation but it’s hard for me to get into. It does help particularly with sleep (which I really struggle with). It also helps in the morning/after a workout. Guided meditations make it easier.
A smile from my infant daughter is an instant de- stresso r.
When all else fails, Clona ze pam.
Getting high is also a pretty good one, but I doubt that’s good for your heart. I wore that one out by doing every day for more than a decade, haha. It does more harm than good for me now.